Tamara Paetkau ~ Taloferia

floppy fairisle

2012-01-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

Pattern: Floppy Fairisle Hat
Source: Fat Cat Knits
Yarn: Cascade 220 and Patons Classic Wool
Knitting Specs: Floppy Fairisle Numero Uno

Since I began knitting, it has been my goal to be able to knit fairisle, a multiple colour knitting technique that generally uses two colours per row. I am happy to say that I have finally conquered my first fairisle project, a lovely pattern that I plan on knitting again (and again!). I was able to use scraps for the entire project, which was really satisfying, and I love the 'flop'.

Knitting this hat taught me a lot about myself. That sounds odd, but it did. As long as I was worried about the outcome, everything turned out a hot mess. It wasn't until I was able to step outside of my own way and trust my fingers that everything came together.

One of the reasons that I put off learning fairisle for so long is that I hate not being at good at things...right away. This is a really childish personality trait that I am not proud to admit to. I speak about the value of the learning process and the worth of being humbled, and yet I don't value the experience myself. This has to change.

Here, look at my gleaming, glorious, (totally imperfect) guts.

I have been struggling (in various areas of my life, not just knitting) with the difference between striving for excellence and striving for perfection, and what it might mean to attain neither. I couldn't have expressed that until my friend sent me this quote earlier this week:

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.

- Harriet Braiker

I need to sit with this idea for a while. To let it sink into my bones. To step out of my own way. More than anything I need to

just

keep

going.

marley

2012-01-11T09:37:00.001-08:00

"His name is Marley...drinks malted barley..."

Every dog gets his own theme song, a spontaneous practice that has stuck around.

It's funny how quickly one can fall in love with a dog. Marley belongs to somebody else, so he won't be here for long, but already we will miss him so much.

yggdrasil

2012-01-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

Pattern: Yggdrasil
Source: Knitting Daily
Yarn: Cascade Eco+ in Turtle
Knitting Specs: Yggdrasil

For me, the 2011 Fall term of university will forever be associated with this blanket. General Phonetics and Research Methods are all over it. My (mostly) monogamous relationship with it proved trying at times, but the final result is something I am proud of.

This was knit for my sister, who generously loaned me her iPod touch for an indefinite period. I then proceeded to break said iPod (or rather, it just up and died). Rather than simply having me replace it, my sister opted for a knitted afghan instead. In a fit of irony, the iPod recently sprang to life. This is when I decided the medium size was PLENTY of afghan and wrapped this sucker up. I am quite pleased with it, though admittedly very happy to be finished!

While I'd love to believe that Dreyfus is in love with this blanket (it will live in his house, after all), my heart knows that he is really just in love with the person underneath it.

if you can't beat 'em...

2011-11-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

as it was

2011-10-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

cables and trees in the golden hour

2011-09-30T12:43:00.001-07:00

A work in progress.

September when it comes

2011-09-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

I watch the clouds go sailing;
I watch the clock and sun.
Oh, I watch myself, depending on,
September when it comes.

- from the song September When It Comes by Rosanne Cash

One of my favourite months, and one of my favourite songs.

daybreak

2011-09-01T11:39:00.001-07:00

Pattern: Daybreak
Source: Westknits
Yarn: Lang Yarns Jawoll Magic
Knitting Specs: That 70's Shawl

The first of September feels like the perfect day to post this shawl, finished this summer.

I am really looking forward to wrapping myself up in this when cooler weather hits...

...a bit of daybreak, just for me.

achy breaky love

2011-08-04T19:41:00.000-07:00

Our little love is getting older. He will be almost nine this October, and is starting to show some wear. What a gift it has been, to see this lumpy, bumpy, grumpy dog through so many different stages of his life. We hope he has many left to share.
We love him.

O. Sacks, now with more bespectacledness

2011-08-02T16:13:00.000-07:00

A perfect weekend, full of reading, knitting, dog-walking, and napping.

2011-07-21T15:11:00.000-07:00

we put some kittens on a sheep

2011-07-06T18:23:00.000-07:00

"I hate you."

mitts of many colours

2011-06-17T13:01:00.000-07:00

Pattern: Camp Out Fingerless Mitts
Source: Tante Ehm
Yarn: Noro Silk Garden in colourway 258
Knitting Specs: Mitts of Many Colours

Knitting these mitts was the most fun knitting I have had in a long time. I love knitting, but sometimes it can feel like a bit of a compulsion, a necessity done because it calms an angst-ridden mind. These were just fun.

I highly recommend this pattern. These are knit from the top down, so you can make them as long as you'd like. Doing a thumb top down was quite interesting too; it was much simpler for me than traditional thumbs, where I always seem to get some gappiness at the thumb base. While the pattern is lovely, I know that a large part of my enjoyment making them was Noro's beautiful colours in 258. I love that these are mismatched, and can see myself wearing them often come Fall...with my favourite faded jean jacket, with my red peacoat, my purple trench...anything, really!

watershed

2011-06-14T13:30:00.001-07:00

I bring you...more knitting! My sister took these photos of me this past weekend wearing one of my most favourite knitted items yet.

Pattern: Watershed
Source: Indigirl
Yarn: Elsebeth Lavold Baby Llama in Lime Juice
Knitting Specs: Watershed

It's got the leafiness. I didn't stand a chance.

I did not get gauge with this yarn, so I had to do some maths. Not too complicated maths, but I was proud that it turned out alright in the end. I made a few minor edits along the way, as many other knitters did. Finicky stuff. This is a very brilliant pattern, without a seam to be had, if you can believe it. Amy's brain is fascinating.

I will wear this often! As always, more details are on the Ravelry page (see 'Knitting Specs' above).

high line

2011-06-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

Oy vey. I am so far behind on blogging my knits. It is an interesting dichotomy, but the more intensely I study, the more I find myself knitting! An intensive summer math course has meant my knitting productivity has skyrocketed.

I am going to start with the latest and try to catch up soon!

Pattern: High Line
Source: Through The Loops
Yarn: Lorna's Laces Swirl Chunky (discontinued)
Knitting Specs: Highline

I feel as though I need to apologize to this poor yarn. We have had a complicated relationship. I bought a bunch of it on-line to make a sweater, but when it arrived the hand-dyed skeins didn't match and were varying shades of green. Then I wrangled it into this hood and these mittens. And while I love those projects, I didn't love knitting with this yarn at those tight gauges.

High Line was knit on size 15 needles, and I swear, I could hear the yarn breathing a sigh of relief. Finally, we made friends. This shawl is so soft and cushy, and in this project, the variegation in the skeins actually played together really well. I love how you can really see the variation through the fringe, where I tried to mix and match the shades.

My love for Kirsten's patterns is well documented. This was a delight to knit, so fast in chunky yarn and big needles. A certain family member has requested one of their own, so I just might be re-visiting this pattern some day. I look forward to it.

frogs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails...

2011-05-31T11:49:00.000-07:00

Manda warmers

2011-05-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

Pattern: Les Cables de Faux
Source: Needle Addict
Yarn: Cascade 220 Heathers
Knitting Specs: Manda Warmers

For my dear friend.

good boy

2011-04-25T09:45:00.000-07:00

(...)

2011-04-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

oxalis and brandywine

2011-04-07T09:03:00.000-07:00

Pattern: Brandywine by Romi Hill

Autumn

2011-03-28T13:30:00.001-07:00

Pattern: Totally Autumn
Source: Knitty / Anne Hanson
Yarn: Patons Shetland Chunky
Knitting Specs: Autumn

Many, many moons ago, my two sisters and I decided we would like to try our hands at knitting. We all three trucked ourselves down to Ram Wools and bought ourselves some yarn. I promptly made this:

and never looked back. My sisters, not being ~~cursed~~ blessed with the OCD gene gave it a shot and then gave me their yarn. Some two years later I have finished M.'s graduation blanket.

The yarn is 75% acrylic/25% wool, which I would never buy now. I can't stomach knitting with plastic, I'm a snob. But it looks great knit up, and holds up well.

One confusing aspect of the pattern is that it is offered for free on Knitty, but the designer is charging $8 for it at her site. Not sure what's going on there.

M. has been wrapped up in this blanket ever since I gave it to her, and I hope it keeps her warm and happy for many years.

Miller

2011-03-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

Pattern: Miller's Hat
Source: Through The Loops
Yarn: Nashua Handknits Creative Focus Worsted
Knitting Specs: Miller

In the last post I detailed a hat fail; this one nearly became one as well. I have since learned the lesson (I like to learn things three times over before they really stick; ask me about swatching): alpaca, not so great for hats. After I wet blocked this hat (I am addicted to the wet block and can't not do it) it grew to a monstrous size, I'm guessing in part because of the 25% alpaca. I threw the sucker in the dryer in a state of panic, and thankfully all came out just fine.
This yarn was left over from the February Lady Sweater that I knit for my mom. I don't think I would use this yarn again. It's a single ply, which I don't enjoy working with (splitty mcsplitsplit), and it didn't feel like a true worsted to me.
The pattern...well, it's amazing. But I have come to expect nothing less from Kirsten. I can see myself making many, many of these hats over the years. The herringbone stitch pattern is really interesting to work, and the brim is ingenious in its construction. It is wider over the ears and neck to provide extra warmth. The cables kept my interest through the crown. And the slouch...oh, the slouch.
This hat was a gift for my mom's birthday, and was difficult to part with, especially since it matches my Bethanie cowl so perfectly. But my mom loves it and I love her, and really, half of the reason I love knitting is covering the people I love in it.

hat fail?

2011-02-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

It is crazy times right now (all good things). I'm either working/studying/writing papers and exams/ or running. I do still manage to throw in my finger yoga for some balance. But alas, not all finished objects are total successes. Take this hat for example. Please excuse the mirror self- portrait, the camera has been sadly neglected amidst all of this hubbub. The hat looks great on everybody I put it on, except for the person I made it for: me. My head's too big or my hair's too big or both. I suspect both.

And yet, I loved making it. Which has made me re-consider whether or not I consider myself a process knitter or a product knitter. I have always been a 'thing' person. The idea of knitting appealed to me because I get something at the end, to keep or to give. But lately, when life has been rushed, I have appreciated the calming aspect of one stitch at a time, no matter the outcome. The way combining the alpaca and mohair felt in my fingers. That the hat ended up being sort of 'meh' didn't bother me nearly as much as it would have a while ago. I am finding there is value in the process of using my hands to create something, and that is enough. All this to say, I'm tagging myself a hybrid, both product and process. The cake, I want to have it and I want to eat it.

When I think of this in the context of running I see a similar flow forming. I have absolutely no desire (right now) to run a race of any sort. But I have been trying to become a better runner, to grow physically stronger, to become healthier, to run further. And if you don't value the process in some way here, you're out of the game. You won't get back on that treadmill or hit that pavement. If the only thing of value to you is the end goal, the daily grind of strapping on the runners becomes, for me at least, unbearable. This is slow going, and there are good runs, and there are very, very bad ones. I am slowly heading toward the goals I originally set out for myself, but some have changed, and most are evolving. So, meh hat, bad run...they aren't such a big deal anymore. I find myself embracing them more fully, yet also able to look beyond them more quickly. For me, it is about a combination of zooming in and zooming out and learning when to do which. I try to take one day at a time, and living this way has truly changed my life. But when that one day isn't so hot, I find myself able to zoom out and view it in the context of so many days. So many runs. So many stitches. I guess that's what gaining perspective is all about, I'm probably just late to the grown-up game, as ever. But it's been rather revelatory.

Who knew I had something to say today; I thought I was just going to throw a bad hat up here. This blog (I will always hate that word) is and has been admittedly a bit of a mishmash at the best of times. Random photos from different places, knitting, a rare few words. None too organized and without anything resembling a mandate. I've been re-evaluating and re-considering this space lately as my life has been shifting and my need to express myself visually or otherwise has been changing as well. But I like this little corner I've patched together, even if it's just for me. It suits me. It's a part of the process of this product that is my ever evolving life, and that is enough.

Pattern (which is not meh but is really quite lovely if you don't possess the hair of Sideshow Bob): Simple Pleasures Hat
Source: Purl Bee
Yarn: Diamond Luxury Collection Baby Alpaca Lace held double throughout with Rowan Kidsilk Haze (583) added for the crown.
Knitting Specs: Thud

K.T.

2011-02-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

M.

2011-01-31T14:50:00.000-08:00

varadero

2011-01-20T06:04:00.001-08:00

nothing more wonderful and strange

2011-01-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

You can go to the dark side of the moon and back and see nothing more wonderful and strange than the way men and women manage to get together.

- from Licks of Love in the Heart of the Cold War by John Updike

sage

2011-01-10T11:21:00.001-08:00

Having committed to buying no new yarn for two years (from September 2010), I worried about how I might survive without new treats to inspire me. (Note how I didn't say I worried about running out of yarn...) Turns out, I needn't have worried. Family have supplied me with enough gifts to keep me very, very happy. My mom picked this yarn up for me at a small California store near San Diego. It is 100% alpaca, spun in Peru and hand-dyed by Joanne Selby.

Pattern: Bethanie
Source: Falling Stitches
Yarn: Forest Fibers in Shady Sage
Knitting Specs: Sage

It was a delightful pattern, simple but engaging. This one is staying with me.

...to live out our depths as well as our shallows

2011-01-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

- title from Frederick Buechner

one for sorrow, two for joy

2011-01-06T11:19:00.000-08:00

I dreamt I saw you walking up a hillside in the snow
Casting shadows on the winter sky as you stood there counting crows
One for sorrow
Two for joy
Three for girls and four for boys
Five for silver
Six for gold and
Seven for a secret never to be told

- from the song A Murder of One by The Counting Crows

When I read the name of this pattern, that song was the first thing I thought of. That album, August and Everything After, was the first album I ever fell in love with. I mean head over heels, listen on repeat ad infinitum, love. I haven't listened to it in a long time, and I don't buy anything new the Counting Crows have to offer, but that album...

Pattern: Crow Waltz Shawl
Source: Loop Knit Lounge
Yarn: Knit One Crochet Too USDK (I believe it's discontinued) in Brown Sugar and Shale
Knitting Specs: One for Sorrow, Two for Joy

I loved working with this yarn. It is 100% wool, and it sticks to itself beautifully.

The shawl was completely transformed by blocking. It went from a sticky mess to light as air.

A kind commenter on Ravelry said it reminded them of dragonfly wings...a higher compliment couldn't have been paid.

A gift for one of my favourite humans...enjoy your new wings, my dear.

a delightful way to spend a sunday

2010-12-19T12:29:00.000-08:00

(Thanks Andrew, now I need a 50mm 1.4.)

molly

2010-12-08T13:42:00.000-08:00

This hat was knit on a bit of a whim back in October. I wanted a simple project between some busy life stuff, and hats are generally fairly quick...but not when they are knit in fingering weight, I learned! My first time out of the gate I didn't check gauge (I'm pretty sure the lesson's sticking now, fifth time's a charm). I cast on for the 22" size and it was apparent very soon that it was going to be way too big for my head, even with all The Hair. I had to do some maths (ugh) so that I could end up with a hat to fit my head, since I couldn't go down in needle size enough to make it work. Thankfully this pattern came in a myriad of sizes and I was able to make the 18" pattern work with my gauge.

I made this hat to match my Ulmus, and I'm quite pleased. The Hair fits nicely inside (note that this delightful model here is not me, while she also has Hair it is not quite comparable in size to The Hair). I used the leftover yarn from my Ulmus, Knit Picks Palette in Garnet Heather. The pattern, Molly, is by Alana Dakos from Never Not Knitting. I have another pattern of hers in my queue I am looking forward to knitting soon.

wol

2010-11-24T08:39:00.000-08:00

Meet Wol Hoobert. He is a Mennonite owl (original spelling Huebert) but he had to change the spelling of his last name to fit in after immigrating (thanks for that, M.).

I didn't actually *need* a stuffed toy, but need is a relative term. What I did need when I started him was a break from intense studying. And something happy. He makes me happy.

In the end, knitting wol was like going to knitting school. This pattern is listed as 'intermediate-experienced', and I wouldn't disagree. The shaping is done with short rows, and there is only one seam (so lots of picking up stitches)...a knitting miracle, if you ask me. The designer, Hansi Singh, is the author of Amiguri Knits. She really is a genius, I have no idea how she comes up with the constructions of her patterns. While I need a break from the intensity of this kind of knitting, I do have plans to knit her Loch Ness pattern in the future.

I was able to use all leftover yarns for wol, one of which was a tweed that came from my Grandma's basement. That makes me happy, as I can see a bit of her whenever I look at him.

lofty mitts

2010-11-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

I believe these are the warmest mittens I have made to date. Knit on size 7s in a bulky weight, the wind will be hard pressed to get through to the fingers inside.
The pattern is Lofty Wool Cable Mittens designed by Cathy Campbell. I used Lorna's Laces Swirl Chunky in the colourway Cedar, to match the Through the Woods hood.

together

2010-11-12T11:33:00.001-08:00

when I sit firmly in that world

2010-11-09T08:57:00.001-08:00

The blue sky opens out farther and farther,

the daily sense of failure goes away,

the damage I have done to myself fades,

a million suns come forward with light,

when I sit firmly in that world.

- Kabir

2010-11-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

ulmus

2010-10-19T14:21:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, my Ulmus shawl. You are among my most favorite knits yet.

This pattern is the rectangle version of the Ulmus shawl by Through The Loops designs. The yarn is Knit Picks Pallette in Brindle Heather and Garnet Heather. Mine was knit on size 5 needles, and I should have checked my gauge more closely. I wanted the largest size and for a while I was concerned that my gauge was too tight. After an aggressive blocking I was able to get the shawl to 22 x 68 inches, just two inches short of the pattern size's called for width.

I really loved using this yarn. I love doing fingering weight shawls, but I am not a fan of the current trend of using sock or superwash yarns. I've got a bit more of those in my stash to use up, but when they're gone, 100% wool for me, please. The scratchiness means it's working! I will buy this yarn again. I really love the heathered colourway options as well.

The pattern was lovely. But. Let's just say I don't plan on knitting a rectangle again anytime soon. Especially not in fingering weight. Those last few inches nearly killed me.

I'm not sure how Dreyfus comes across as such a dapper gentleman in these photos. He's actually a total ditz.

All in all, I really love my Ulmus. And while I'm fairly certain that I look like a crazy afghan lady in it, I am also 100% OK with that.

turkish delight

2010-10-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

This fall has been filled with insanity. I have never before been so thankful for the sanity of knitting, and the peace that comes with one row at a time. Even if it's just one row a day.

I made another Ripley hat, this time for my sister, who is travelling to Turkey. I like my bribes to be a bit more subtle than flat out cash, and I am hoping for some Turkish yarn on her return. I would also love to taste true Turkish Delight, to see just what it was that tempted Edmund so. But the yarn will suffice.

This is my second Ripley, and it will not be my last. Those slouches are built into the hat and they are no-fuss perfection.

Be safe sister, I already miss you.

baby (in a) cardi

2010-10-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

It is rather hard to believe that I knit this cardigan in February 2010, before this little guy was even around to fill it.

And now here he is, a tiny human in a cardigan, six months old!

It gave me such joy to see a baby in something I had made by hand.

the road ahead

2010-09-28T04:28:00.001-07:00

seafarers

2010-09-23T09:04:00.001-07:00

These fingerless mitts were knit from Twinknit's Thanksgiving Day pattern. I accidentally omitted the last cable called for in the pattern, but thankfully I did it on both mitts. When my mum put them on they’re the perfect size for her arms…the extra cable would have made them too long.

I had some Cascade 220 leftover from another project, in a colourway I knew I wouldn't use again. After some disastrous over-dye efforts with some green kool-aid, my friend Katie threw the lot in a pot of blue dye (the real stuff). Out came this hodge podge mix of yellow-brown, green, and blue. Skeptical at first, I let the whole lot dry and after winding it into a ball I felt a bit more hopeful. My mum saw the colours and loved them at first sight, so she got a pair of fingerless mitts out of the deal. They're a little bit patchy and odd but I think that makes them all that more special.

dreyfus at sea

2010-09-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

...folded many miles deep in the silence of forests...

2010-09-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

- title from the book A Pilgrim's Regress by C.S. Lewis

wind love

2010-09-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

overshot

2010-09-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

The single curl that came loose from behind my ear and flew into my field of vision as I turned around to see lights coming down the dirt road. The way it felt to run beside you, the sky ever darkening, matching each other step for step.

"You know, if we were sisters, I would be OK with that."

Left foot, right foot, air in, air out.

It was a holy moment.

Completely inspired by unphotographable, I do not want to forget these moments when I couldn't, for whatever reason, take the photo.

brother love

2010-09-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

through the woods

2010-08-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

Here is another finished Christmas Gift, a knitted hood/neckwarmer. The pattern is Through The Woods and the yarn is Lorna's Laces Swirl Chunky, a hand-dyed blend of wool and silk.

I had originally purchased this wool to make a sweater. Unfortunately when it arrived, half of the skeins didn't match each other (I'm assuming because of the hand-dyed nature of the wool). This pattern works well though, as I was able to use the mismatched skeins to my advantage by contrasting the greener hood with the browner ribbing.

This was not an entirely smooth knit for me, but I couldn't be happier with the finished result. I will have a very hard time giving this one away. This project taught me the importance of swatching, washing your swatch, checking your gauge, and then trusting your calculations. Because I used a different yarn than the pattern called for, I got gauge with bulky yarn on size 6 needles. It became apparent soon after starting that this was not a good decision for my right arm (OW) but I'm incredibly stubborn and develop irrational needs to beat yarns into submission. I. MUST. WIN.

Also because of my gauge, and the toggles that I had in mind, I had to revise the plackets and come up with my own version. I used a YO/K2TOG buttonhole instead of the pattern's recommendation, and only included four. The toggles don't pass through the holes easily but I will recommend that she keep it closed and pull the hood over her head.

In closing: L., if you do not make sufficient use of this hood upon receiving it, both of your sisters are coming for it.

fetching

2010-08-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

Here is another Christmas present finished, a simple pair of fingerless mittens. The pattern is Fetching from Knitty.

The yarn is Rowan RYC Cashmere Tweed, 90% cashmere and 10% silk. Luxury!

Engineers need cashmere, too.

A simple and satisfying knit that I know will be appreciated. My sister didn't think she was deserving of cashmere mittens, which is exactly why she needs some.

my boys

2010-08-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love them so.

This photos sums them up perfectly. Dreyfus spinning circles around the world, and Kenzie watching on with a face that perpetually asks: "Really?"

Kenzie has his six people in his life who he will wag his tail for endlessly and who he loves with devotion. If you are not one of those six people, good luck.

Dreyfus...well, he's a little different.

I was hiding under your porch because I love you.

I'm pretty sure he'd wag his tail for anyone.

So different...and yet I love them both so dearly.

earth delights

2010-08-12T06:03:00.001-07:00

And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.

-Kahlil Gibran

I was at a Sabbath retreat at a monastery this past Spring. So much became clearer to me that weekend, but the moment that I most treasure is a simple one. A woman I had never spoken to came up to me and said, "When I first saw you, I had this vision...God loves to play with your hair."

Of all the things to bring me to tears...

rhythm, light, air, movement, focus

2010-08-09T12:09:00.001-07:00

I think music and photography are part of the same thing: it's rhythm, light, air, movement, focus--and more focus.

Lou Reed

Music and photography, two great loves of mine.

I have been obsessed this last week with the new album by Arcade Fire, The Suburbs. And I do mean obsessed. I bought it the day it came out. I listened to it the whole day. Then I listened to it all evening. And again the next day. And when I'm not listening to it my whole body and mind wants to be listening to it. My feet start to move involuntarily, asking for it. The notes, the words, the beats, the yells. I was talking to a friend about this reaction and she asked what the last album was that had this effect on me. It's been so long that I honestly couldn't remember. I think there was a Ryan Adams album long ago...and Radiohead's In Rainbows comes to mind. But in this age of iTunes and singles, solid albums have been lacking in my life.

I love this album so much that I cannot in good conscience recommend it. The songs all blur together and I can't separate them anymore. I don't know if it's 'good' music (whatever that is...), I just know that it speaks to me in a way I really hadn't expected. I've spent some time internally dialoguing with myself, trying to put my finger on what's grabbed me. I didn't think it was the subject matter. I grew up in the suburbs, and I had a great childhood. Some of my best friends grew up in the suburbs. Granted our houses didn't all look like they came out of a pink concrete mold. But they were the suburbs and I had/have no complaints.

I think what I'm reacting to is a sort of suburbia of the mind. I've lived in one of those for a long time, and it's only been in the last few years that I've started to claw my way out. No matter where we live, what age we are, where we are in life, we all at one time or another experience that feeling of familiarity, of boredom, that nothing will ever change, that you're just punching the clock, day after day, line after line. For me, that's what this album speaks to...wanting out of that feeling, spurring you on to something new...towards new grasses, new light. The beats alone command a new marching order.

Begin again.

Now I'm ready...

a + m = the cutest

2010-08-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

wedding wrap

2010-08-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends got married this weekend. I was a QB (quasi-bridesmaid...). Thankfully I didn't have to wear a bridesmaid dress...phew! Much relief. So I decided to make myself a little shawl. I wouldn't necessarily recommend wearing mohair in 35 degrees but this wrap was very comfortable. I don't think I'll knit with lace-weight again (this is Kidsilk Haze) anytime soon, but it was a fun knit.
As always, more details on Ravelry.

flowers from a friend

2010-07-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

candle flame cowl

2010-07-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

Since my arm pain has diminished so dramatically, I am back on the Christmas knitting bandwagon. I like to do most of my Christmas knitting in the summer, since they are usually smaller pieces (the thought of holding a pile of sweater on my lap all summer is not appealing!)

Hopefully the recipient doesn't read this blog, but if they do I'm actually OK with that! My Christmas knitting isn't usually a surprise...I like to make sure the giftee is getting something that they want and will wear, so they often see the pattern before I start.

M. displays alternate cowl wear

As usual, all the details can be found on Ravelry.

love, love, love

2010-07-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

Love is gonna lead you by the hand
Into a white and soundless place
Now we see this
As in a mirror dimly
Then we shall see each other
Face to face

- From the song Love, Love, Love by The Mountain Goats

Love that song, love that band, love these people.

how you have needed every second

2010-07-15T20:49:00.000-07:00

Night is drawing nigh. How long the road is. But, for all the time the journey has already taken, how you have needed every second of it.

Dag Hammarskjold

kerrera, knitting pain, and why I knit

2010-07-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Admittedly, I do not like to be in photos. It’s possible that I even hate being in them. I’m a photo taker. But alas, when I have knit something to fit this body, only it will do! Thanks to sister M. for taking these.

So smug!

This sweater is Kerrera, by Gudrun Johnston, the Shetland Trader, one of my favourite knitwear designers. I started this hoody in February of this year, and was still knitting using the English method at that time. This is the project that nearly killed the knitting. I knit non-stop one weekend while out at the cabin, doing a really nasty number on my right elbow. This was further aggravated (and possibly initiated) by my day job, where I work on a computer all day. Thus, this sweater sat in a sad, unfinished, pocketless pile for a few months while I sat in a sad, hoodyless, immobile pile along with it. After a month of physiotherapy and massage, the elbow pain was still omnipresent. I even taught myself the Continental method of knitting to economize my movements. As soon as I would start knitting or working again, the pain would return.

I will forever be thankful to Brenda of Cast On for recommending Claire Davies’ Trigger Point Therapy Workbook. Within a day of doing the exercises, my pain, which had been quite intense for a few months, was gone. Whenever I feel a twinge of pain now, I take out my tennis ball, do my exercises, and the pain dissipates. This book has also helped some members of my family who have struggled with back and knee pain. I can’t recommend it highly enough. 326 4.5 star reviews speak for themselves.

Back to the sweater...

So happy!

I started knitting this sweater before I read the excellent Fit To Flatter series. It turns out that sweaters that button only at the top are all wrong for my shape. So, I compromised, and added a single button at waist level. Many thanks to sister L. for the lovely wooden button, part of a bunch she gifted to me last Christmas.

So headless!

More knitting details can be found on Ravelry (link at sidebar). I generally like to keep this space about the photos, and my talking to a minimum, but Claire Davies’ book has helped improve my quality of life so much, and the lives of some people I love, that I want to spread the word to others dealing with myofascial pain.

P.S. While I'm jabbering on and linking left and right...
I believe that knitters and non-knitters alike would benefit from watching this video of Renate Hiller (found via Mason Dixon Knitting). She is a beautifully graceful woman who completely sums up why this sticks and string thing is so near and dear to this girl's heart.

entrelac for mum

2010-07-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

My mum is the most awesome human I know. So when she asks for something knitted, I do not hesitate to oblige.

When I worked on this in front of her, she would take the scarf, needles and all, and wear it about half finished in 30+ heat. That's how I know this scarf is going to be well loved.

Now she has to wait until Christmas to wear the finished piece...mwa-ha-ha.

And you know, because he was just sitting there...

little bear

2010-06-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

tough guy baking cookies

2010-06-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

You never know which photos will become your favourite. This one goes straight to my fridge, where it will make me smile each time I look at it.

summer knitting...

2010-06-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

pause / run run run

2010-06-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

excellent, always

2010-06-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I walked by a man practicing yoga in the park. I smiled as I passed and said hello.

"Hello," he said, "how are you?"

"Oh, I'm alright...and how are you?"

As he slowly shifted positions he replied in the softest voice..."Excellent, always."

Excellent, always. A wave of joy rushed over me.

I'm not completely naive. I know that man has to deal with all of life's worries as much as the next person, aches and pains and bills to pay and relationships to maintain and deadlines to meet and weeds to pull.

Excellent, always.

There are so many shifts and changes happening in the lives of those close to me and in my own. Best friends are getting married, or moving away, or graduating...I have my own shifts and turns coming soon...and we all wonder what happens next.

Excellent, always.

My new mantra.

kettle of kool-aid

2010-06-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

A few months ago my friend Katie and I got together to have ourselves a yarn dyeing party. She used Jacquard dyes, and I decided to play around with kool-aid powder. Not just for drinking, it turns out! Kool-aid has enough acidic content that you don't have to add any vinegar to the process to set the colour (children drink this?). First, I used the microwave process to over-dye a particularly horrendous yellow skein of Cascade 220 with lime green kool-aid (I can't remember the flavour)...which turned into the colour of puke. Truly awful. Katie kindly used her hardcore dye to make it a nice navy blue/green. My second experiment was much more successful. I took a huge skein of Lion Brand Fisherman's Wool in a natural colourway and overdyed it using some blue kool-aid, this time over the stovetop. We decided to kettle dye it, meaning that we didn't stir the yarn while it was in the pot. This resulted in a lovely mottled look, a mix of blue and natural.

While the blue would be very bright on its own (and that was overdying natural, I can't imagine the neon we would have achieved had we dyed pure white yarn!), I thought it would be lovely mixed with a dark earth brown.

I made Andrea's Shawl from Through the Loops. Kirsten Kapur is one of my favourite knitwear designers right now. I did follow another knitter's mods, making the brown stripe garter instead of stockinette. I like the way that the garter stripes call back to the garter border.

Because I used worsted weight yarn instead of the sport weight called for, I got a lovely large shawl (I followed the instructions for the large size). Many knitters on Ravelry commented that the sizes of this pattern ran fairly small, so I am happy that I used worsted weight. I was able to block the shawl to 60" wide, a perfect size for me. I have lots of the blue left over, and a bit of the brown, so I think I will make myself the pair of matching mitts.

Many thanks to my photography muse M. for modeling. I always like the way my knits look on her most of all.

I love making these big earthy shawls...perfect for my favourite season, autumn. Until then, it makes a lovely couch cover. Or should I say, in honour of Grandma, chesterfield cover.

in the pink

2010-06-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

him

2010-05-26T16:32:00.000-07:00

a glorious mess

2010-05-21T09:21:00.000-07:00

The mess the kids left behind is just as beautiful to me as their artwork. I would hang that mess in my house...maybe I will.

They made so many beautiful, full, brightly coloured pictures. And my hands-down favourite is one of the simplest:

Yes little one...dogs and gentleness go hand-in-hand, don't they...

the reading room

2010-05-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

Just a little moment I want to remember forever.

I remember when it felt like this house would never feel like my home.
Now, every once in a while, it does.
My cocoon.

a grateful scene

2010-05-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

It was so lovely to turn around and see this little scene on such a cloudy day.

My Opa's old cane resting on the shelf...it sways, back and forth, whenever I walk past it.

A handwritten scarf recipe, written by my Grandma many, many years ago, resting on the shelf where I had placed it the night previously. I am so excited to make this little recipe some day.

Tulips from a dear friend. It was lovely to watch her cutting them for me from her very own garden.

I don't think I will ever find a vase more lovely than an old mason jar.

I am grateful for these little scenes, when the veil between worlds parts for just a moment.

face on egg

2010-04-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, Rose's mom gives her eggs to take home.

Sometimes, Rose's mom draws faces on them first.

I think this is pretty magical.

falcor

2010-04-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

conversations with a 5-year old

2010-04-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

Me: Hey, what's your favourite colour?

T.G.: Hmmm...green.

Me: Me too! Why do you think it is that we like that colour?

T.G.: Because it's...tender.

And then my heart just burst wide open...

dreams at the bottom of stairs...

2010-04-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

I love you.

your place in the family of things

2010-04-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

Title from the poem Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

m.l. k. print

2010-03-30T08:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you for this, friend...it is perfect.

...

2010-03-26T12:59:00.001-07:00

wide open like a lake

2010-03-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

standing at this waters edge
looking in at God's own heart
I've no idea where to begin
to swallow up the way things are

everything in me is drawing in
closing in around this pain
I will lay my heart wide open
like the surface of a lake
wide open like a lake

bring the wind and bring the thunder
bring the rain till I am tried
when it's over bring me stillness
let my face reflect the sky
and all the grace and all the wonder
of a peace that I can't fake
wide open like a lake

- from the song Like A Lake by Sara Groves

One of my very favourite songs...so much better to hear it than to read it...

silly rabbit

2010-03-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

Wool is for humans...

I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror upon arrival at the cabin...exactly how many knits can I wear at the same time before I look a bit...crazy?

I don't want to know.

this moment, this season

2010-03-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

Waiting is the in-between time. It calls us to be in this moment, this season, without leaning so far into the future that we tear our roots from the present.

From When The Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd

monsters and music

2010-03-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

Oh what fun. I knit Hugs and Squoze in lightning speed for my friend's birthday today. The pattern is Hugs & Squoze from Mochimochi Land. Whenever I look at Hugs I hear Bono's voice in my ear..."Lemon!"
As for the music...I have been listening to Red Heart by Hey Rosetta! all day, over and over...

were you born a closed book,
full of secret lines? (and bound so tight)
or did you learn to lock it,
as not to break your spine?

Perfection.

extras

2010-03-08T09:41:00.000-08:00

I ordered some square buttons from Hodge Podge Arts a few months ago. I love her work. When the order arrived in the mail, the seller had put this heart button in as an 'extra'.
I just love that sort of thing.
And I knew just who to give it to...my mum. She immediately put it on a chain, something I hadn't thought of doing, and she turned it into instant jewelery.
I love it on her.

remember the sun?

2010-03-04T06:43:00.000-08:00

I can feel that it's almost Spring...almost there...

daffodils make everything better

2010-02-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

find a psalm

2010-02-25T21:35:00.000-08:00

Life's a bitch, and then you die: so you might as well find a psalm and sing anyway.

- Kathleen Norris, from the book Acedia and Me

I used to love the Etch-a-Sketch. Twirl the knobs, make a mess, shake it clean and start again.

One continuous line.

Simple.

But life doesn't work that way...years upon years of scritches and scratches and I can't seem to shake it clean.

So I'll keep looking for my psalm to sing.

antifreeze

2010-02-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

This was knit many months ago already, for Stefan.
The pattern is Antifreeze from Knitty. I left out the pig-tail holes and the helmet strap holes because:
a) Stefan is a boy
b) Stefan snowboards without a helmet (I do not approve)

Marvin the Martian:

baby cardi

2010-02-20T14:25:00.000-08:00

This little hoodie was made in honor of my Grandma for this little monkey's future sibling.

I had a hand-made sweater from my Grandma when I was a wee thing and I believe that Mary Paetkau's great-grandchildren deserve the same.

The pattern is Easy Baby Cardigan from Knitting Pure and Simple.

26 ~ 27

2010-02-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the last night I will be the age of 26.
26, you sort of kicked my ass. And I won't miss you.
But I say that without an ounce of bitterness in my heart. You taught me more than I ever thought possible, and I will always be grateful. And in the midst of the deepest inner turmoil...there were fields of flowers on the tops of mountains.

Hold my hours in Your hands
tug me toward right
tap my shoulder and whisper instructions
fill my heart with Your directions.
I want to walk these days
with You.

- from the poem Unmapped Miles Ahead by Joan Rae Mills

Hello 27...I'm looking forward to you...

...

2010-02-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

swim out to it

2010-02-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.

- Jonathan Winters

Easier said than done, I know...

travelling woman

2010-02-08T08:01:00.000-08:00

The pattern is Travelling Woman from Feministy.

Working with this yarn (a Christmas treat to myself) was just glorious. It is Oasis in the Rib-Bit colourway from The Woolen Rabbit.

bird in pocket

2010-02-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight I love:

corduroy
giant wooden buttons
handmade gifts
shiny things
looking forward
piano music
hot soapy dishwater
library books
unearthing forgotten projects and setting them right again...setting myself right again
evenings filled with creating

where I want to be

2010-02-02T21:15:00.000-08:00

everything I'm feeling

2010-01-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

leaf

2010-01-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

I am playing a bit of catch-up with project posts lately, thus...a post a day, it would seem!

It turns out that I have a weakness for any pattern involving:

- trees

- leaves

- branches

- any combination of the above

The pattern is Leaf from Spud and Chloe.

(A note about the blog (I truly hate that word). Four separate people have approached me this week and asked why I don't allow comments. So I have opened them up again, because I couldn't come up with a good enough reason not to. The internet should be about sharing, after all, and I should at least allow that to flow in both directions. But if you prefer to lurk, please continue to!)

ariosa

2010-01-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

I'm partial to Pantone 186 C myself...

I finished this cardigan this morning, when I should have been outside running. But it was -30 out, so that just wasn't going to happen.

This photo was taken by my friend Rose today. I haven't blocked the shawl collar yet which is why the bottom is a bit scrunchy. But I had to wear it!

The pattern is Ariosa Wrap Cardi from Classic Elite Yarns.

pantone 3395 c

2010-01-26T21:18:00.000-08:00

ice fishing

2010-01-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

I am nothing if not predictable

2010-01-22T09:43:00.000-08:00

Guess my favourite colour.